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Sunday, January 30, 201111:38 PM These couple of days, I've found out a lot about myself. (: For the last half a year, my dance has been on a steady (or...not so much xD) increase in skill, fun and enjoyment. Physically, I'm fitter than I've been in YEARS probably and mentally, I've matured a lot through dance!
Thanks dance, I owe it all to you. This past week, my self-confidence has...told me a lot about myself. My new commitment to dance is showing me all the possibilities that had been held back by my (let's just call them) dance anxieties. It has been difficult to let go of my fear of judgement and disapproval. I hate having the limelight, being the centre of attention. All I have ever asked for was to be acknowledged when I deserved it. I liked being a little over shadowed. I always made me feel like an underdog, without expectation and safe. I had my first battle this week which was also my first time I freestyled in front of anyone. To do it in front of Kwan and Lay was a big leap for me. My previous freestyle attempts were...less successful, let's just say. Having a whole week to ready myself mentally was a big help. I didn't feel like I was put on the spot. I guess I'm glad I added Lay on facebook after all :P --> which sparked this whole thing xD the world works the way it works. Don't question it. (: Yes, I am a little girl. :P What chu gonna do about it? LOL Alan and Keanu looking at the new crop and stalking us was funny, but kinda sweet...(: They seem like such wonderful people who I look up to and respect. I'm glad I shared those multiple awkward moments at the door with them! Such a tender age and already so skilful! Here is my vow to go to Alan's class once I outgrown Lay's! (: Because I have bad memories with being a noob in Keanu's class HAHAHAHA. It will be sad to say goodbye to Lay though! I'm not looking forward to it. :/ I've also realised the value of humility in the face of greatness. (: Just because you're good, it doesn't mean that everyone needs to know it. In my battle, I would have accepted defeat graciously. (: I hate showing off. xD I hate show offs/attention seekers. Especially around people whom I respect and are too big of a person to show you down. Someone I really respect was joked about this week. The people talking had no cruel intentions, so I can't really blame them, but it highlighted how people often forget about all the hard work people put into their art. One day, I hope to be one of those people and I won't matter how I look like, but it will matter what type of person I am. I hope this person continues to shine on the dance scene and give me someone to aspire to. With my maturing self-confidence has come my maturity in thinking. I've figured out what I want and don't want in other parts of my life and reiterated the fact that I'm perfectly happy flying solo. I'm not sure if I'm the settler or reacher (for Reap's sake, I put this in here! xD HIMYM FTW~) because I'm a different girl from eight/nine months ago. Then, it would have been obvious, now it's not. I'm just sayin' I want a man, not a boy. Haha I love dance and a large part of it is the familial feeling from our common passion! The Sunday wedding dress dance class really take the cake on feeling "together". It's the mess-about-syndrome class that I don't have to take too seriously unlike popping :P When I'm with those people, I like to think of the whole lot of us as one big Crossover Family. I feel like we're only going to get closer as the weeks pass and share more laughs and good times. Thank you TY class for making my Sundays worth the wait! Acting silly and sharing dance is the perfect way to end the week. Meeting Popo before the $2 battle was nice (: I'd always hear about his legend, his name and it was a big deal to finally meet him. At least under the circumstances we met we'll have something to follow up on the next time we see each other Haha. This week has indeed been eventful in Carpie's world of dance! Like my other post said, never forget to give due credit and it's about that time. (: Bec Dearest, Beddy. You have the biggest credit when it comes to me and dance. :D About half a year ago, you brought me up those DK stairs and took me to my first (street) dance lesson ever and I was just kept going back. Without you, dance and I wouldn't exist. It would not bring so much happiness in my life and I would not be who I am today. Thank you so much. SO SO MUCH. You also gave me and still give me countless memorable moments in dance class to cherish and remember. Thanks again Begugu~ Jaye If Jaye was not my first teacher, I don't know if I'd love dance as much as I do. He taught me, not only my (touch yourself) dance moves, but also how to love it (dance, not touching yourself). Jaye's contagious charisma and charm makes dance an enjoyable activity still and he's a great teacher. Thanks Jaye! Lay I have many things to thank Lay for. As my first and only (minus the fail Keanu lesson T^T) popping teacher, he has taught me everything I know about my style. Sometimes I don't know if he does it on purpose or not, but he knows just what to do. Thanks for being so considerate of me and my hate of freestyling! xD And how considerate you were for posting on my Facebook wall after our (Kwan + I's) battle. I made me feel better about myself than I really should have. LOL And keeping the winner of the battle a secret (: It was nice to think either way. Haha. Thank you for everything up to this point, Lay. Kwan My popping man. (Y) Thanks for always egging me on and helping me to become a better person through popping. Haha. He probably doesn't know what he's done exactly, but to me, battling Kwan made me a better person. Before this week, I was such an egomanical and petty person, but thinking about dance has showed me the bigger picture very clearly. You may always bully me, but I know deep inside, Kwan's only doing the best for both of us, so thanks Kwan! Gay Stick, Dudu, De Jian, Jeff, Sam, Trav, Jason You guys are always pushing me to show you what I've got and that has really helped because watching you guys makes me think of what I can be in the future. I'm sure once you guys were awkward, self-conscious noobs, too (don't deny it, women) >:D but now, you guys don't stress about showing your skills at all. You guys have also made fitting into dance easy for me and not opting to segregate me was a very nice thing to do. I would have been hard starting from scratch, but you guys have given me people to rely on from the get go. I thank you guys for that. (: I will always be grateful. Because dancing by yourself in front of EC is never fun (: Renee Well Fabfab is always around encouraging me and reminding me that just because I'm a girl, it doesn't mean I can't beat the boys though street dance is dominated by guys xD Thanks for sticking around man! Would be chicken as without you! (: Wei Wei (&Josie!) My first "Ngawww we're like buddies" teacher moment for me came when Wei Wei offered to teach me for free (: He always hi fives at the end of class. Made me feel loved :D You're awesome Wei Wei, thanks! Alan & Keanu (AK47!) Ah, getting to AK47 haha. They're "my age" yet their already leagues and leagues away from me. These two guys are some of my biggest inspirations and I want to be like them one day (: They're so great and so young and so humble and nice! (Yeah, pretty much all of CO family is like that!) We ARE the same age...ish. LOL (: Looking forward to making new friends and I climb the popping ranks >:D You guys are my greatest inspiration, thanks for...existing...and being my age...? I don't know hahaha LOL Crossover instructors & reception & students Learning about something you love under the conditions that CO Studios is in is a great experience. There's just so much love and support all around you! Kudos back to Jaye for starting CO. I wouldn't trade my ties with it for the world (: Thanks to everyone there making my life happier and healthier. I couldn't ask anymore from you. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! People who have just entered the dance scene. I hope you love it as much as I do Good luck! (: Mention to Reaps who went to CO for the first time last week xD I'm so happy for you that your love for dance is being nurtured at Crossover. It was a wonderful place to start (: Whatever path you take on your dance journey, we'll be right behind you! (: Good luck! Friday, January 28, 20119:33 PM I see you all around town with a group of guys
And I’m like forget you~ I guess three months worth of popping wasn’t enough I’m like forget you and forget them, too Said if I was better, I could dance with cha Huh, now ain’t that some sh... Now though there’s pain in my chest I still wish you the best With a forget you~ Yeah, I’m sorry, I can’t freestyle, But that don’t mean you can get away I guess she’s an expert and I’m more in denial Hmm, hate the way you say your name is Lay I pity the fool that falls in love with you (Ooh, she's a gold digger, just thought you should know it) Ooh, I got some news for you Yeah! Go run and tell your little girlfriend I see you all around town with a group of guys And I’m like forget you~ I guess three months worth of popping wasn’t enough I’m like forget you and forget them, too Said if I was better, I could dance with cha Huh, now ain’t that some sh... Now though there’s pain in my chest I still wish you the best With a forget you~ Now I know, that I have to battle Practice, cypher, hit and dance Tryin' to keep ya, Tryin' to please ya ‘Cause having a crush on you ain’t chance I pity the fool that falls in love with you (Ooh, she's a gold digger, just thought you should know it) Yea Ooh, I got some news for you Oh, I really hate you right now I see you all around town with a group of guys And I’m like forget you~ I guess three months worth of popping wasn’t enough I’m like forget you and forget them, too Said if I was better, I could dance with cha Huh, now ain’t that some sh... Now though there’s pain in my chest I still wish you the best With a forget you~ Now baby, baby, baby why do you wanna, wanna hurt me so bad (so bad) so bad (so bad) yeah, ohh I tried to tell my momma but she told that she don’t understand Yes she did, Yes she did (Ooh) WHY? (Ooh) WHY? (Ooh) WHY? BABY? (Ooh!) I love you! I still love you! Hey yeah! I see you all around town with a group of guys And I’m like forget you~ I guess three months worth of popping wasn’t enough I’m like forget you and forget them, too Said if I was better, I could dance with cha Huh, now ain’t that some sh... Now though there’s pain in my chest I still wish you the best With a forget you~ Thursday, January 27, 20118:26 PM I, Carmen Mock, will approach dance with new enthusiasm and commitment. Let dance become my greatest art of self-expression and let nothing get in my way.
I must: correct my wrong doings clear misunderstandings never lose sight of what my final goal is not sell out only dance for the greater good stay humble & true & dance with love not hate Never forget: to give due credit, even when others do that you're only human and every loss is not a humiliation under the right attitude and state of mind Sweetie, "impossible is nothing"...but a state of mind Dance is never about the glory. I will no longer dance for the praise or the acceptance of others. From now on, it is for me to show myself that I can do this. I don't need anyone to hold my hand anymore. Don't let thoughtless emotion stop you from achieving what you deserve. Perseverance will lead you to greatness. Who helps you get there is your choice. Choose wisely. Don't leave those who've helped you behind. |
uh huh, listen boy  All about the music All about the dance All about the love my first love story my angel Formspring Haha :S Clearly going all out on this blog :P Access to Formspring only via this blog, lucky you guys, no? :) Have Fun~ and my girls (and boys! :) ) 
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